Sometimes, Romance is Where You Find It.

I love this quote by Dr. Laura.  My husband & I traveled to Jamaica for a marriage retreat - like no other.  We weren't really sure how it would go, but we had an open mind and open hearts to whatever the outcome may be.  Also it was at Sandals resort and we had been to several of the resorts previously, and even this one in particular earlier that year.  Nothing is ever the same with any travel plans and though there were some bumps in the road over all we really enjoyed our visit and our re-connection.   

I want to highlight the times when romance was not planned but yet the connection was there, and one occasion when it was completely planned, unbeknownst  to me and it was a home run.  

MOVIES UNDER THE STARS was a big surprise for both of us.

Our plans for the evening kind of fell through and the previous night it had rained so there was no movie.  On our way to the Rabbit Hole Speakeasy we saw that the movie was just beginning, and on impulse we decided to grab a couple of those giant bean bags - which are MUCH bigger than they look in this photo - as was the movie screen - and "watch just a few minutes" before carrying on our way to the Speakeasy next door. Those few minutes turned in to the entire movie! 

The resort had a stand with fresh popped popcorn, nachos, and pizza (all included of course).  We opted for the fresh popped corn.  The movie was The Legend of Tarzan and we were captivated as we snuggled up on those bean bags. Occasionally I would look up and see all the stars twinkling above us and rest my head on my husband's shoulder. It seems unexciting but it was truly a bit of magic and a romantic evening. Certainly something we have never done before. ​

---

HOMEWORK was part of the daily events.  After the meetings and information there would be homework questions to review together. ​

One of the days we found one of the smaller quiet pools on the resort and discuss the questions.  Sometimes we would lay back on the lounger to think a moment and this is when we would hear the birds over head, or the laughter of other couples playing shuffleboard nearby. 

​My husband walked over to the brick oven pizza place to grab an individual pizza to share and a glass of Red Stripe which we also shared.  Maybe it was the sharing?  Maybe it was that we were the only ones there - other than this couple in the pool which were obviously not lively.  Maybe it was simply being without the commotion of daily life? It was peaceful and we felt the connection.   Another unexciting event that was actually kind of charming and romantic. 

---

HOMEWORK done. When we were finished with the homework above we gathered our belongings and began to make our way back to our side of the resort to prepare for dinner.

There were several hammocks in the area and I said to my husband, "I've always wanted to try these - let's swing for a few minutes"  After a wee bit of debate (it's not all roses you know) we decided that we have time because after all nothing is a "must" as this resort.  

I'm not gonna lie... it took a couple minutes for us to get situated in that thing! But "it's no problem - just a situation"... as they say in Jamaica.  :0)- We are there swinging below palm trees as birds are flying in & out and it happened to be the ONLY day that it didn't rain at some point the week we were there.  Rain moves quickly in the Caribbean but today no rain at all.  It was so gorgeous, and relaxing as we snuggled up there in the corner of the courtyard.

​At first we were quiet and simply enjoying the moment. Then we began to talk about things in our life. Things we don't necessarily talk about from day to day. I guess it takes a bit of doing "nothing" to calm the mind and just BE.  Again, an unexciting, uneventful situation that was really a nice connection.

​Getting OUT of the hammock is a different story!  Come on now, ya'll know we are not tiny people... but we are working on that.     

---

THE PLANNED ROMANCE One of the assignments in the week was to do something unexpected for your spouse. It could be something small or something that makes them feel special. 

hMnuch to my surprise my husband reserved a private Candlelight dinner on the pier.  I had always wanted to do this but it's not cheap!  During our other resort visits I would cast it aside as being extravagant and unnecessary. As we were walking towards the restaurants my husband began walking down the pier towards the table.  
I stopped short and said, "No, we can't go that way, this is for a special couple."  
He replied, "yes, it's for us."
I'm fairly certain my jaw dropped.

Then a lady in a butler uniform walked up to us and said, "Mr & Mrs. Fiorello?  Welcome to your private dining experience". and she handed me a long stem red rose.  For the meal my husband had pre-selected the menu of filet mignon and lobster tail with two courses before the entree; a shrimp cocktail and wild greens salad. For dessert it was my favorite, chocolate cake - which we ended up taking back to the room to enjoy the next day. We also enjoyed Champagne with the appetizer and wine of our choosing with the remainder of the meal.

When we first arrived it was overcast and cloudy and I was wondering if we were going to have to make alternate dining plans.  Slowly, as if by magic, the clouds began to silently sweep away and the night sky was crystal clear by the end of our 2.5 hour fabulous meal. The waves were crashing up to the dock and the light breeze was whispering.  There were tiki torches and candle lights all around us.  

Our private butler for the dining experience was very attentive yet unobtrusive the entire time.  She was kind and wonderful!  She asked if would like a photographer to take a few photos.  We agreed, and the above photo is one that he took, and it's one of my favorite ever photos. It was truly a magical night.  Planned romance can be very nice indeed!

---

There were many other times when romance was in the air - just not to the level as the others:  

• floating in the pool with a festive cocktail
• laughing uncontrollably about something that happened while walking back to our room (like freaking out when a cat jumped out from behind a bush) 
• swimming in our semi-private pool sipping champagne & having a gecko stare us down
• walking through the zen garden and marveling at the size of the Goldfish
• Snuggling up on a sofa in the commons area while sipping a cappuccino as the rains drizzles outside 
• Sitting on the beach in the evening just the two of us listening to the waves
• Riding the water Trykes and stopping out in the ocean and sitting while our feet dangled in the water
• A late night swim in one of the smaller quiet pools or hot tub in a quiet area playing music on our phone
• Walking in to our room after dinner with a fun towel animal on the bed, the lights low, Sade is playing on the iHome system and flower petals are on the bed

These are a few ... but I think you get the picture. If you relax and be in the moment and perhaps not plan the moment then it may surprise you and happen anyway. It's all about connection.  If you plan some romance then do it well! Don't go cheap - at least once.  ​

Now, for YOUR homework... This next week be IN the MOMENT (which for men may mean not trying to control everything around you) and let that connection happen for you and your spouse. Consider doing something uncommon and unexpected for your loved one to make them feel special.  

Our rainy day view and our comfy couch - proceeded by a yummy chicken tortilla soup for lunch.  This was really a relaxing day.  We heard others grumbling about the rain but for us, it was nice.  I have some rainy day ideas for you... but that's another blog post.  
​                                                Until next time...

---